Here we are. Having to find a home, to let go of ideals and embrace the reality and to make a family place that we can enjoy.
I read somewhere that it helps to write down your ideas for what you would like your new home to be. I don't like projecting (well, don't believe in it, actually), but to order my mind, I did write down what an ideal new home would be:
3 bedrooms (toddler room, bedroom, study) - I seriously need a space to be creative as well as personal space. I refresh my soul by being alone. In the past few months it was not possible for many reasons that I would not exchange for anything, but I did have a few serious and embarrassing meltdowns as a result.
2 bathrooms: In case I shoot from home I wanted to have a separate space for my creative stuff, that is not overcrowded with building blocks and rubber duckies.
Single floor: almost impossible, but chasing after the toddler up and down the stairs, which is the only space he enjoys at this stage, is just as impossible.
Hear this: no carpets, preferably wooden floors (I know, I am just jotting it all down).
Modern, granite top kitchen: easy to clean, no worry of stains during my cultural cooking experiments.
Garden: big enough for the Baby Boy to run and for us to have some coffee time. With coffee prices going up, that is the only way I can imagine us staying in the budget.
2 garages: to turn into a home studio for the reliable creatives that I have already worked with.
I felt so ashamed of myself when the reality kicked in. THE PLAN HAS CHANGED.
We decided that it would be safer not to work from home - all the extra advertising of the fact that there's photographic equipment in the house. So there went my double bathroom. Carpets are just a practical solution in this coldest winter ever, and the wooden floors are past affordable. The garden belongs in the same category. As we will still be traveling and working away from home a lot, all the extra space just seems so unnecessary. I do get to keep my single floor though, and one garage. And there's a nice small garden with a stoop.
So I reminded myself that I have never been a materialistic girl (living in a double story mansion with marble floors and white finishes, stadium sized balconies & 3 bathrooms for almost a year can waver anybody's believes) and rewrote my Expectation List for the new home. Please bear with me:
I would like our home to be marriage centered: I want to have spaces where we can sit, talk, drink coffee and cuddle - special nooks an crannies that would encourage such activities.
It must be welcoming our son: he wants to wash his hands, place the shoes in the right place, put cups on top of the cupboards, cook & sweep. I would like to foster these wonderful beginnings and create toddler size working spaces: place a grooming station for him to wash his hands and face, brush his teeth - thanx for tiles, fruit on his reach level, wardrobe space that he can "maintain" himself (I am very inspired by Meg from
Sew Liberated - she has created such adjustments with great success). Also, I believe it is important for him to learn to wind down and to have quiet time. We are not a great example of this, so we will all have to find a way to make it work. There must also be a place where he can be loud and simply a boy - that will be hard to achieve in the current location, though.
It must display our family history: we have photographs, needlework, art that has been in storage for over 5 years. It is time it comes out. I have most beautiful tablecloths gathered by my Granny as a dowery. It is time I stop being afraid to soil it and just use it. We have furniture made by a Great Grandpa and books from three generations. As well as Daddy's childhood toys. We don't know when or where we will move next, but it is time we let our son see and know where he comes from.
It must not be cluttered: hmm, will be a bit hard with all of the above. My main goal is to buy as little as possible. To thrift and to recycle instead of nesting. It will take a bit of decorating challenges: grey camping chairs can look very bohemian next to brown leather floor cushions near art deco side table and Cape Dutch linen wardrobe, don't you think? I have always been a bit punchy at heart.
It must feel like a holiday apartment (a place of rest for mind, soul, spirit & body): it must be light, airy, with plants, natural fabrics and textures, small reminders of the sea (I did sneak a few pebbles & drift wood pieces in an already overweight luggage). It must be a place where we want to be, where we want to come back to. I found my inspiration on this
blog: small spaces that are functional and beautiful.
This new list feels like a better solution for me. It is more like an inspiration rather than a plan, a sudden change of which might just break my heart. It feels more durable, more value based, more of a mission statement to follow.
What expectations did you have for your new home? How did you make the reality and ideals fit your family? What home-making resources inspire you?
